I have been having the most difficult time with friendships, I wonder how my old reflection of myself is an aspect of not only the friends I made but how I maintained them
In the past few years I have acquired some new developments, I don't feel I had changed, but there is an evolving of who I am going on, I am becoming more the person I am inside reflecting that now upon the world.
I feel my weight and my outer self is very much as aspect of the hate, negative and critical aspects I feel about myself that anyone in that time may have been apart of feeding that because I wasnt good enough to have the ppl I need.
I find I do this with men, in dating or interacting with men i feel only deserve what I am.
I wonder how to evolve and maintain whats already there.
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