Tonight

Has been a little hard for me, I have been looking at old pictures and looking at the time that has passed and feeling like my changes physical should be greater, but i know i am going about this process differently. Im looking for a life style change and i promised not to rush or over whelm myself. but i know i will fall behind if i dont see results, so im not looking at the scale but getting into my BBJ (best bootie jeans) favorite outfits and feeling good.

I needed to rant a bit

cuz I need to know I can get past this.

Content with me....

for the first time in a long time i am content and happy with me.

I feel i am in the right place at the right time, I am secure in knowing i cant be the perfect person I envision in my head cuz im building up to that. everyone come into their own at just the right moment in life and mine is coming. so what am i looking to do?

well....

1. Lose weight not for anyone, but for me, I want to reach a size that I am comfortable at, that i feel naked in that I can shop of the rack, buying that LBD for any occasion and not struggling or finding something that just fits, with tears in my eyes by the end of the night.

2. Build my career and looking past the incidences of self-consciousness, where I don't think I'm good enough to be a leading voice in the writing community and making a difference in the field of sex and sexuality that fits for me and my lifestyle.

and Lastly...

3. Find my counter part, a partner to walk this path with me who is willing to build more than a family but a legacy something we can leave behind that our family will endure and live on forever.

So these are my three major goals in no particular order, but I will work to create a life for myself that will make me HAPPY!!